# COLBERT WORLD

> Where the Future of Work Takes a Selfie and Then Sparks.

Colbert World is a free, playable 3D theme park in the browser. Walk the beige paths with WASD (or a phone stick), tap a land, and enter immediately. There is no queue simulation. Tickets open at once. Wait times are posted with confidence. Actual pending committee.

This park is satirical. Truthiness is legally binding inside the gates. No outside facts. The Word is the hub; all paths return to it.

## Optional

- [Park directory](/guide): HTML encyclopedia of every land, attraction, and guest-service window.
- [Full park guide](/llms-full.txt): Complete attraction copy, snacks, advisories, and park rules for language models.
- [Souvenir map](/colbert-world-map.jpg): Official laminated park map.
- [Share card](/og.jpg): 1200×630 preview image.

## Park directory

- [The Word](/guide#the-word): Where language goes to get a haircut and a security clearance.
- [Truthiness Plaza](/guide#truthiness-plaza): If it feels true, we printed a map for it.
- [Situation Room](/guide#situation-room): Crisis. Coffee. Consensus. Leave with all three or you don't leave.
- [Warsaw Picket Line](/guide#warsaw-picket): Solidarity Is Algorithmic.
- [Test Track](/guide#test-track): Beta Test. Or Else. Please keep arms, legs, and unions inside the vehicle.
- [Robot Beggar Midway](/guide#robot-beggar): Donations downloaded. Dignity optional.
- [Nugget Harbor](/guide#nugget-harbor): Home of the Little Light. Big Feels.
- [Rocking Chair](/guide#rocking-chair): Home of the Little Light. Big Feels.
- [Hall of Three Sermons](/guide#three-sermons): Three sermons. One conclusion. A gift shop that accepts tithes and OKRs.
- [Parade Route](/guide#parade-route): A loop of progress so perfect it never arrives.
- [Bencrop Institute Annex](/guide#bencrop): Metrics. Mandates. Muffins. If it cannot be graphed, it will be muffins.
- [More On Fire](/guide#stadium): Performance is our purpose!
- [Freedom Station](/guide#freedom-situation): The only honest queue in the park.
- [Freedom Station](/guide#freedom-harbor): The only honest queue in the park.
- [Freedom Station](/guide#freedom-stadium): The only honest queue in the park.
- [First Aid](/guide#first-aid): For burns, feelings, and metrics injuries.
- [Facts Window](/guide#facts-window): Facts may be requested. They will be laminated.
- [Lost Dignity](/guide#lost-dignity): If found, it will be sold back to you.
- [Quiet Room](/guide#baby-care): The Little Light is still on. Please whisper.

## How to play

- Desktop: WASD walk, drag to look, E to enter, Shift to hustle.
- Phone: left stick to walk, right pad to look, tap a land card to enter.
- Reset to The Word, toggle You Are Here, stamp the Nation Wristband, or read Park Rules from the toolbar.

## Note

Nation Lane does not shorten the line. It notarizes it.
Posted with confidence. Actual pending committee.